About the Magazine

Our Mission: Everyone needs a mission statement. Businesses. Corporations. Mom and Pop hardware stores. Even kindergartners. Why? Honestly, no one who works here really knows. We hadn't even considered writing one until Bob came in the other day.

"Hey," he said. "Why hasn't anyone written a mission statement?"

"What's that?" asked Vinny.

"Some kind of top secret document," said Marjorie. "All the fanciest of companies have them."

"Oh no," said Bob. "What ever are we to do? If we don't have a mission statement, I'll be ever so disappointed."

"I think mission statements are the cat's pajamas," said Vinny. "Let's write one."

A few hours passed. Vinny, Bob, and Marjorie put their heads together and gave it everything they had. They gave it some elbow grease and put the pedal to the metal. They put in one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.

To their chagrin, the staff writers could not produce a mission statement. In the process of trying, however, they somehow managed to start an office fire. All three were killed.

"Oops," said Frank the next day. "I forgot, we already wrote a mission statement."

[Read the Mission Statement Here.]

About the Staff: Read biographies of your favorite columnists (cartoon and human), including Archibald Bosworth, Cynical Melanie Jenkins, Dagonet, Jamie Norton, Matt Lavin, Moriarty Magoo, Ned the Goat and Virginia Perkins Plath. Click here.

Our History: This magazine is young, but its legacy goes back almost a millennium. To learn more about the Bosworth legacy, Click Here.