Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine ...

Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine Brimming with Unearned Self-Importance

Publication Temporarily Suspended

Dear Committee for
Time Travel Vehicle Requisitioning:

Why is it that whenever someone travels to the past using a time travel vehicle of some kind, the same three things happen? Either someone goes back in time to prevent a world leader from being killed, goes back in time to make a wheelbarrow full of money, or gets trapped in the 1950s and goes to the high school dance with his mom. Isn’t it about time someone had a little fun with the fourth dimension? I propose, modestly and humbly, that the Committee for Time Travel Vehicle Requisitioning (CTTVR) entertain the following proposal for a new time travel concept.

[Read More of
"Fun with Time Travel"]

Humorous Lists

Adult Films Based on Literary Classics

Americans Abroad, Dos and Don'ts

May 2008

April 2008

Headlines

Newly Popular "Church of Scientography" Denies Plagiarism Charges

Critics Call Former White House Spokesman Scott McClellan's New Book "The Feel-Good-Rehash-of-Widely-Accepted -Malevolence-and-Incompetence of the Year"

Sen. John McCain Supports New Bill to Keep Kids off the His Lawn and "Cut That Racket!"

Job Growth Rate Slows Slightly in Summer Months; Meanwhile, Hilarity of "John McCain is Old" Jokes Shows No Signs of Decline

[More Headlines]

By Angela McDermott

I am so glad that Jennifer Aniston has found love!

Would you pay $175 for a cheeseburger?

I am so glad I do not have children!

Why have insurance when they never cover the one thing that happens to you?

I am thrilled about the New Kids On The Block Reunion!

[Read More of Stink Tank]

Dresser Drawer

Third Date (or Later) Confessions

"I'm Crazy, but I'd Like to Meet Strangers on My Local Bus"

Pickup Lines that Never Work

Women and Doctors

By S.R. Lavin a.k.a. Sholom

After decades of marketing success, in the 1920’s, the electric car suddenly became unpopular and impractical. The dainty socialites of that time had been buying electric cars, which were quiet, environmentally clean, and elegantly designed. But most people were suddenly forced by economics and the abundance of crude oil to buy the cheaper and faster Model A Ford (propelled by a combustible fuel engine). The times dictated a decision to mass market gasoline powered automobiles so people could drive to work. Oh great, just when the horse and buggy were finally obsolete (and so the need for professional human pooper scoopers was also eliminated), a new form of pollution was being introduced into modern life to replace the
ever-present, common “horse-pie.”

Copyright 2007. All content on this site is original to Bosworth Magazine unless otherwise indicated. All rights reserved. Site designed by Matt Lavin. Thanks to Robin Stephen for web design consultation, and for drawing much of the artwork seen on the site.

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Mini History of Bosworth

August 22, 1485: Yorkist King Richard III of England meets the Lancastrian royal contender Henry Tudor at Bosworth Field.

January 2, 1983: Actress Kate Bosworth is born in Los Angeles. Less than 25 years later, she portrays Lois Lane in Superman Returns.

Fall 1987: Brian Bosworth, linebacker for the Oklahoma Sooners, debuts with the Seattle Seahawks, leading the team in several defensive categories.

February 2007: Matt Lavin, of Iowa City, types notes for Bosworth: an Online Humor Magazine Brimming with Unearned Self-Importance.

April 1, 2007: The Bosworth system goes online. Human decisions are removed from strategic defense. Bosworth begins to learn at a geometric rate. It becomes self-aware at 2:14am Eastern time, April 25. In a panic, humans try to pull the plug ... and Bosworth fights back.

Bosworth Magazine's Wall of Rejected Slogans:

1. Bosworth: It’s Like the “Prairie Home Companion” … for Perverts!

2. Bosworth Magazine: Where Humans and Cartoons Write Side by Side, Forming Twisted Human/Cartoon Hybrids. (We Call Them Mantoons.)

3. Bosworth Magazine: Forcing Monkeys to Reproduce the Works of Shakespeare on Typewriters Since Summer 2007.

4. Bosworth: Humorous Thoughts for the Seriously Deranged.

5. Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine with Dozens of Places to Hide Your Weed.

6. Bosworth Magazine: We Probably Shouldn’t Have Hired the DC Madame as Our Proofreader.

7. Bosworth Magazine: Sexaholics Welcome.

8. Bosworth: A Humor Zine of Epic Proportions. Can We Call it a Zine? The Word Zine Sounds Cool.

9. Bosworth Magazine: Dedicated to Eroding the Storied Bosworth Family Reputation, One Zach Braff/ Coldplay Joke at a Time.

10. Bosworth: Proving to the World that Oversized “Muppet Show” Posters Do Belong in the Workplace.

11. Bosworth Magazine: It’s Possible, Although Unlikely, That Our Entire Staff Has Rabies

12. Bosworth: We’re Not Some Pretentious Humor Magazine Determined to Illustrate Our Sense of Intellectual Superiority by Constantly Referring to Highbrow Literature without Explaining Ourselves, Expecting the Reader to Notice. (riverrun, past Eve and Adam's, from swerve of shore to bend of bay, brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth Castle and Environs.)

13. Bosworth Magazine: Dudesticking Our Way to Internet Hilarity.

14. Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine that Routinely Catches its Staff Members in Compromising Positions in the Boiler Room.

15. Bosworth Magazine: Because the name “Thunder Cats” Was Taken.

16. Bosworth: The Nation’s Leading Sexual and Reproductive Health Care Advocate and Provider.

17. Bosworth: A Timeless Classic Since Five Minutes Ago.

18. Bosworth Magazine: Brain Soup for the Zombie's Soul.