... On Urinals in Scotland

Dear God, grant me the strength to defeat my enemies, the kindness to greet my friends, and the wisdom to know the difference between them. Also, if it’s not too much trouble, could you do something about the urinals in Scotland?

I recently visited Edinburgh, and the urinals at basically every toilet, public and private, are just messed up. The American urinal does not boast a particularly complex design. It’s often made of porcelain, flushes, and has a shape meant to help facilitate private, hygienic peeing.

A urinal in Scotland, in contrast, looks more like a sideways baking sheet than a place to relieve oneself. It’s basically a large sheet up metal, three inches deep at maximum, where a group of men (probably drunk) can gather together and pee on themselves/each other.

Lord, I ask for little. A hot cup of coffee each morning. An occasional, slightly imaginary date with an attractive woman. Golden delicious apples in a bowl next to the regular apples. And, if all things go well, a urination station with a couple of privacy barriers.

On a related note, Glasgow still has pay toilets in its train station. Has anyone considered that this system isn’t worth the revenue it supposedly draws in? I’ll go out on a limb and say that one “lane violation” a month in the railway station lobby would all but stamp out any potential financial benefits.

The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes lie down in green pastures. He leads me besides still waters. And hopefully, he’ll let me water his pastures by providing me with a reasonable urinal in each nation I visit.