Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine Brimming with Unearned Self-Importance

  
Vol. 1 No. 9
December 2007 
  
Bosworth Magazine Archives

six step guides

Mixtape Master Pete

This month I will give you the steps needed to let your mom know that you won’t be coming home for the Holidays because you are touring the Oklahoma pan handle with your Quiet Riot/The Smiths cover band.
  1. Send her a copy of your demo tape. Exposure is exposure. And you don’t know who she knows.
  2. Remind her of last year.
  3. Stage a fight. Call your sister that name—you know the one, what you called her when you were twelve because you heard it on “Dirty Dancing” and didn’t know what it meant and she cried so much that she couldn’t go to school the next day.
  4. Tell her that if you do come home you are going to bring your new significant other who just took over as head piercer at the mall.
  5. Ask your neighbors to re-instate the restraining order they placed on you when in High School you stole their reel to reel recorder and their shih tzu.
  6. Finally, promise your mom gifts from the road after the new year.
Good luck and I’ll see you in the record store.

Love, Mixtape Master Pete.

Copyright 2007. All content on this site is original to Bosworth Magazine unless otherwise indicated. All rights reserved. 
Special thanks to Robin Stephen for web design consultation, and for drawing much of the artwork seen on the site.


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