The Ten Commandments of Decision '08

Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine Brimming with Unearned Self-Importance

Vol. 2 No. 2

February 2008

Iowa City, IA

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Bosworth Magazine

The Ten Commandments of Decision '08

Every presidential race has rules. Remember the donors and keep them holy. Never piss off the donors. And listen extra hard to the donors, because they give you money. This year's election has been no exception. In today's divisive political environment, here are the most important things we learned.

1. Always speak truth to power. Unless the truth is scary ... or the powerful people are scary ... or if you're just scared because you had a bad dream. Or if it's getting late.

2. "Number talk" is nobody's friend.

3. Stay away from big words like "oligarchy" and "disenfranchise."

4. Never Make eye contact with Mike Gravel.

5. Thou shalt not kill a controversy.

6. Thou shalt not steal good lines from your opponents.

7. Honor your national committee.

8. If you're leaving an MSNBC debate and you notice Chris Matthews in the alley behind the studio relieving himself, don't stop to ask why.

9. Democrats talk Democrat stuff, Republicans talk Republican stuff, and never the twain shall meet.

10. Never hire Joe Trippi.

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