Let’s Have a Few Sexual Euphemisms Based on Bad TV Shows

Coming up with descriptive euphemisms for sexual behaviors is no easy task, but someone has to do it. Just imagine a world without the expressions “wheelbarrow style” or “horizontal mambo.” In the spirit of service, Bosworth Magazine seeks to expand the cornucopia of sexually explicit euphemisms by providing a few intercourse methods named after eighties and nineties television shows.

1. Highway to Heaven: Euphemism for extremely pleasant sex. (EG: “Call me Michael Landon, because tonight I’m going on a Highway to Heaven.)
   
2. Wonder Years: Normal sex with a nostalgic voiceover.
   
3. Quantum Leap: You leap in, “set right what once went wrong,” and leap out.
   
4. Dukes of Hazzard: When you sleep with someone who would best be described as a “Boss Hogg.”
   
5. Three’s Company: This one speaks for itself.
   
6. Diff’rent Strokes: So does this one.
   
7. Who’s the Boss: Straightforward dominatrix scenario.
   
8. Head of the Class: The word “head” has a double meaning.
   
9. Full House: Overzealous dual-gendered orgy with bad role-play plot and substandard acting.
   
10. MacGyver: When you use normal household objects in creative, sexually explicit ways. (Caution: Do not use Swiss Army Knife for sex.)