Hunting Season (April 5): Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney drew criticism when his claim of having been a lifelong hunter was called into question. Apparently, he never had a hunting license before last year. He defended the previous statement, saying he didn’t need a license because he only hunted small creatures, “varmints, if you will." It's not the size of the creature that matters, he added. It's the fact that you've proven your manliness by killing an animal for no reason. (In fairness, you could theoretically eat whatever was left of the varmint.)

Easter Sunday (April 9): Christians once again celebrated the most successfully carried out Sunday "To-Do" list in the history of the human race. Jesus got up early, rescued Old Testament heroes from hell, rose from the dead, delivered a message of peace and love to humanity, and ascended to heaven. In contrast, this Easter, it took Matt Lavin, 26, of Iowa, until 4 p.m. to put on pants.

Imus Fired (April 12): Shock Jock Don Imus was fired after inflammatory remarks about the Rutgers women's basketball team. A recently study reveals that, as a result of the firing, talk radio is now 0.0001% less bigoted.

Testif*cked (April 20): Attorney General Alberto Gonzales testified before the Senate judiciary committee after allegedly firing several US attorneys for political reasons. He was criticized for using the phrase "I don't recall" (or some version of it) 74 times during one day of questioning. On the upside, later that same day, he landed a high paying job as the official spokesman for rufies.