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Bosworth: An Online Humor Magazine Brimming with Unearned Self-Importance

 

Vol. 1 No. 8
November 2007 
 

Bosworth Magazine Archives

Exposing the Mass Insanity
of the Prison System


Don't Choose Your BattlesBy S.R. Lavin,
aka Sholom
Fact: The United States has the highest incarceration rate in the world.
 
Factoid: Prisons, rather than serving as sites for rehabilitation, create an economy of oppression. … and provide an excellent setting for hour-long TV shows.
 
This insane merry-go-round of prison culture must end.
 
Activist Angela Davis has spoken before thousands of eager listeners about the abolishment of prisons. Davis is an icon of the sixties and a dynamic personality with an activist reputation (which we do acknowledge and regard with high esteem). But, her topic, "the abolishment of prisons" is a sophomoric mix of wrong conclusions and very slanted use of statistics and facts. For example, she challengedthe "language" of "incarceration" and equated felony conviction with "civil death." I find this term culturally unusable, and since I am not intelligent enough to understand what she is really saying, I have come to my own conclusion without meaning to.

S.R. Lavin, aka Sholom

 Conclusion: The prison system must be flooded with as many new inmates as possible.
 
The use of prisons is a wrongful way to "punish" social malcontents, and egregious falsifying of evidence or misrepresenting evidence or simply withholding evidence that would acquit indicted suspects, has sent innocent people to prison. Not to mention the high cost of banned drugs for use behind bars.
 
So let's take the bull by the horns and create a new approach; let's find ways to get arrested, get thrown in prisons, and thus bring the whole nasty system to a screeching halt.
 
Let's turn the prisons into giant, corporate hotels with a whole range of economic opportunities for those who want to be prisoner-citizens. We can commercialize the experience by issuing a whole new "line" of prison fashions, prison literature, prisoner on-line dating,   "cuisine for lifers," and sit-coms and reality shows all broadcast from the big house.
 
And then, when we look at the prisons themselves, where predators are loosed on younger people (behind bars), to rape and beat down those who should be getting relief from their social ills, not punished for being poor or poorly educated… perhaps we see where Davis gets her incentive to go around America preaching about the horrors of prisons.
 
Maybe we should change the laws and allow convicts and citizens with a "record" to vote. Thus, they would be re-categorized as having "civil life" and could've voted George Bush out of office in the last election   (as Florida would have voted Democratic).
 
Out with the crooks...in with the thieves! Now there's a bumper sticker I intend to copy right and make my fortune on...
 
Davis argued that prisons are socially engineered warehouses to punish young black men, who, for the most part, she mused, were swept up by "surveillance," and were not in prison because of their criminal deeds. Someone in the audience asked her to cite which criminals might be kept in prison because of their behavior... but Davis waved off the answer to that question and spoke instead about non-violent "offenders" who should be "let out" or "set free." And she even invoked our memory of slavery as an institution (as if it were possible to see imprisonment as merely a continuation of that immoral economic and social condition, which all of us have no memory of).
 
But, to release violent predators, or career marauders, or someone who has done things like Hannibal Lector, is to ask ordinary, sane people to expect that real criminals are supposed to have rights we don't have either. Instead, let's really render prisons useless by stuffing them beyond their capacity…this can be accomplished quite simply and quickly by massive "lock-ins"…like the smoke-in protests where thousands of non-violent offenders would become willing fodder as convicts in the jailhouse rock. (Just as Elvis glamorized incarceration in his movie.)

For hundreds of years, criminologists and shrinks and others who study deviant behaviors and character disorders, have never really cracked the mind of a "criminal" or conclusively shown why some people like to do bad things to other people or rob banks or steal welfare checks from old ladies.
 
There's really nothing very funny about criminal behavior or abolishing prisons…which is exactly my point. I say, why let so-called non-violent offenders out of prison when a massive influx of prisoners (those who are serving time for drug use, or other relatively low threshold "crimes" against "society") would create a whole new class of citizens in the slammer, namely, educated, alternative life-stylers, and peacenicks.
 
We could also mobilize people to write bad checks, wreck hotel rooms, steal cars, and shop lift. When arrested, you could plead guilty and demand the maximum sentence allowed under the law.
 
Yes, we can agree with Davis that the prisons are heinous institutions... but I don't imagine any of us want to live with sociopaths on the loose, or allowing rapists and child-molesters and stalkers to go free...
 
Still, we can ask ourselves, what would our world be like if we didn't have prisons? But first, let's see what it would be like if we all had some firsthand experience of what being in prison is really like.
 
Lock downs and strip searches would become state of the art entertainment…


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