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| Vol. 1 No. 8 |
November
2007
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Bosworth
Magazine Archives
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Vincent Van Gogh, Dead Artist, Pitches His Patented Stress Reduction System Take it from a guy who cut off his own ear and shot himself in the face, stress can be a real bastard. What is stress, after all, but an updated version of that old emotion we used to call anguish? It’s the beast that rears its head whenever you desire something and can’t have it. It’s the car that runs you down when you take on too many responsibilities. It’s the eyeball-popping hangover on the day before your term paper is due. Stress rends, shreds, debauches, bites your face off, and kicks you in crotch.  But
now, for the first time, you can put all your worries aside. With
Vincent Van Gogh’s patented stress reduction system, you’ll never
suffer the sling and arrows of outrages fortune. Say goodbye to sweet
sorrow. Say hello to my new book: “Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff … Just
Eat the Paint Chips.”Inside this soon to be released tome, you’ll find dozens of useful life lessons on dealing with stress. Take a look at a few, if you don’t believe me: Turn your angst into art. Lot’s of art. True love means never have to say you’re sorry for stalking someone … Turn your frown upside down! Don’t like what you hear? Cut off your ear! Blame God for your problems. Never trust people named Paul. Absinthe is the tranquilizer of champions. and of course Paint is delicious! |
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