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Bosworth
Magazine Archives
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Mel G., Not-Dead Average American, Would Kill for Some Anxiety Medication
First
off, I want to thank "Bosworth Magazine" for providing me with a safe,
anonymous venue to make my voice heard. I'm just your average blue
collar, middle-American family man with a haunting suspicion that the
Jews are responsible for all the world's wars. But I'm not here to talk
politics. I want to know, is anyone else having as much trouble as I am
in getting a simple prescription for anxiety medication?
I've been to seven doctors, and they all say the same thing. There's simply no anxiety medicine to spare.
I
hear almost every day that pills like zoloft, wellbutrin, and paxil are
over prescribed. Every average Joe with a toothache and mommy complex
can get fast access to his drug of choice. Drugs are just pouring out
of the pharmacies like rufied kool-aid at a frat party.
I would like to drink some of that kool-aid. Why can't I have any kool-aid?
I
walked out of my local pharmacy the other day and noticed someone had
installed a couch/water fountain unit just past the exit to the store,
in the mall common area. At first it seemed like a fairly normal thing.
Couch. water fountain. Then I did a double take.
What is
this couch/water fountain unit for? can it be that our society had
become so dependent on its prescription drugs that an entirely new
demographic of people must stop a few yards from the pharmacy, down
their blue meenies with the help of a refreshing drink, and pass out on
the public couch in a cesspool of drug-induced relief? have we become
so dependent on drugs that we can't make it to local bar, where we
might toss back our pills with the relaxing aid of a syrupy whiskey
shot?
And if all these signs are accurate, where's my anxiety medication? Why can't daddy have some medicine?
I have stress, people. No joke.
I'm
trying to make a movie about wolves that's four hours long and
completely in the language of wolves. I'm trying to convince Danny
Glover to make Lethal Weapon 5. And everywhere I look, I see Jews. Jews
with a vengeance.
What's an average guy like me gotta do
to get some zoloft? Kill a dude? Torture dogs? Make out with a guy?
I'll do it, people ... I'll do anything. Mel G needs a taste of the
good stuff.
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