By Angela McDermott

We can send a man to the moon, but we have no idea on how to develop newspaper ink that does not stain your moneymaker for weeks afterward?

I think we should kill every inmate on death row. Why is everything in this country on the 20-year installment plan?

I hope that the war in Iraq manifests into our Vietnam. How else are we going to identify with the older generation?

I think we should make it impossible for a select few to have access to health care. Die you greedy ungrateful for what you already have bastards!

Ann Coulter is my hero and I secretly want to have sex with her… don’t tell my wife…or my boyfriend!

Can I pay $5000 for a Hannah Montana ticket… pretty please?

I am so glad that I live in Utah and cannot purchase spirits over the Internet I find it so much more rewarding to drive 100’s of miles drunk!

The time has come to legalize marijuana and prostitution… I am tired of not being able to make ends meet!

Hey Alan Greenspan could you fuck with my mortgage rates some more… I still have my house!

I just want to know one thing…where in the hell is Steve Fosset?