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Bosworth
Magazine Archives
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Loretta, Not-Dead Office Worker, Is Sick of Fake
Porn on Youtube
How many times has this happened to you? It’s 2:45 p.m. on a
Friday, and you’re stuck at work until five. Everyone with
any sense has long fled the building, but you have to stick around to
“hold down the fort.” No force in this planet could
compel you to do actual work, so you decide to spend the next several
hours looking for adult content.
First stop, Youtube. This online video service offers submissions from
private users around the world. Every yutz with a web cam seems to have
something to say about the most recent Brittany Spears performance, or
the less than surprisingly scoop that Bill O’Reilly has
racism issues. Assuming the site hosts something porntacular
shouldn’t be controversial.
You search the site for some adult key word. I’ll spare you
the examples, but I’m sure you can use your imagination. Any
numbers of whoopee-related buzzwords produces scores of results.
Next you click on what looks to be a promising link. A few thousand
people have already clicked it, and it’s marked at four and
half stars. To your chagrin, it’s a false positive. Instead
of adult nastiness, you discover someone’s rather long and
pointless video diary …
This could be bad luck, you think to yourself, unaware that Youtube
does a fairly good job of screening out its adult material. You try
several more sites, time after time failing to land on anything even
close to a naked body. The rage boils up inside you, and you go on a
wrath-soaked killing spree.
So, how many times has this happened to you? Zero? Oh.
Well, yeah, it hasn’t to me either then. |
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