Lately I think I’m the Only Person Trying Make “Dudestick” Part of the American Popular Lexicon

By Matt Lavin

A few months ago, I suggested to a few friends that a funny new word for penis would be “dudestick.” Surely, I would never imply that our culture lacks sufficient euphemisms for the male sex organ. Wang, rod, lizard, Willie, and junk all have their own appeal. But dudestick could change the world. Imagine the possibilities.

When I first told a few people about my idea, they were dumbstruck. Literally. They were so enthralled by the idea that they greeted it with pure silence. If you’ve ever heard the sound of a joke completely bombing, it was a bit like that. Almost. But not quite.

Naturally, I assumed we would all go about our business, dropping our new word into casual conversation wherever we went. The term would spread virally, like a rumor about a co-worker … or the Ebola virus. A few months later, somebody would be telling me about a great new word they heard for their member. Dudestick.

No such luck. I kept up my end of the bargain, spreading the happy dudestick news in every corner of America and Europe, just for good measure. I was the Johnny Appleseed of convincing people to say dudestick.

Assuming that I was one among many, I took my efforts to the next level. Upon my return to Iowa City in August, I submitted the word dudestick to urbandictionary.com. As many of you know, urban dictionary is an online, comprehensive effort to provide useful definitions of wide-ranging slang. As their motto suggests, this database is built on peer submissions: “Urban Dictionary is a slang dictionary with your definitions. Define your world.”

Define your world. They said it, not me. And my world includes the word dudestick.

Urbandictionary.com, however, did not agree. A few days after receiving my submission, they cancelled it.