Bosworth
Magazine Archives
"Some
time in the early 1970s, a young woman named Dolly Plath had an
epiphany. Bearing the last name Plath, she had the unique opportunity
to name her soon-to-be-born daughter after three infamous literary
suicides..."
Read More about Virginia Perkins Plath in the Staff Biographies Section.
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 Won't Someone
Please Think of the Children?
Dear Virginia,
I’m a first-time parent looking for some friendly advice.
Everyone knows small children shouldn’t be allowed to drive
the
car without supervision, but rules are, after all, made to be broken.
When is it appropriate to send my kids off with the family wheels?
Sadie
Dear Sadie,
I understand. People get tired. People get stressed out. People want to
watch the one episode of “Night Court”
they’ve never
seen and still can’t figure out how to work the freaking
Tivo.
I’d say more, but “Night Court” is on in
five
minutes. Go to town.
Dear Virginia,
As a drug addict, I spend a lot of time overdosing on various
stimulants and depressants. Obviously, I’ve trained my
seven-year-old daughter to use a hypodermic needle so she can give me
an aortic shot of adrenaline if ever the need arises. If I tell her she
can’t play with the needles in the house, am I being too hard
on
her?
Vince
Dear Vince,
Yes. You have a lot of nerve telling your children what they
can’t do. Do you like it when your parole officer tells you
to
stop doing crack? I didn’t think so.
Dear Virginia,
My kids, like most children their age, refuse to eat food unless
it’s cheeseburgers, pizza, or chicken nuggets.
What’s the
best bribe to make kids eat their vegetables?
Wendy
Dear Wendy,
You’d think money, but no. It turns out many children really
don’t know the value of dollar. Shiny things work well, and
large, expensive birthday parties have their benefits too. Another
route you might try would be to avoid vegetables altogether. Just toss
a megavitamin into the middle of one of those chicken nuggets from time
to time. |
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