The Bosworth Mission

Bosworth Magazine begins with a simple and noble purpose: to confront and conquer all its foes. All great figures have natural enemies. Richard the Lionhearted had Saladin, Patten had Rommel, late-nineteenth-century Europe had the rest of late-nineteenth-century Europe, and Bugs Bunny had Elmer Fudd. With that tradition in mind, we introduce Archibald Bosworth, a slightly arrogant, ambiguously British, lovingly unwashed icon of a time gone and mostly forgotten.

Before we go on, a disclaimer. Bosworth is not really in charge. Bosworth is to Bosworth Magazine as Carlos Santana is to the band Santana. Santana had the coolest name, but he didn’t write the songs, and that guy up front singing on the Santana concert DVD is somebody whose name isn't Santana. Bosworth is like that ... and he smokes a lot of pot. Yes, Bosworth is exactly like Carlos Santana.

His foes? Pretty much everything. No one really knows what Bosworth hates so much about the world today. He complains about everything. His coffee is too hot. His coffee is too cold. His coffee has too many pencils in it. Our society rewards selfishness and dishonesty. People care more about reality TV than reality. Capitalistic hegemony has all but eliminated truly radical voices from the public sphere.

What is he talking about?

Our slogan is, “An Online Humor Magazine Brimming with Unearned Self-Importance.” We have a huge ego about the magazine, but we know we haven’t done anything to deserve it. We’re pompous … but we're aware of the irony. Does that awareness make us less pompous? Odds are, no. We probably should have picked a better slogan, but “the nation’s leading sexual and reproductive health care advocate and provider” was already taken.

Bosworth will release a new issue every month. There will be many words on each page. It will feature content by a variety of “eccentric” columnists and several articles on News, Arts & Entertainment, and Living. Every month will highlight an editorial by the magazine’s figurehead, Archibald Bosworth. Hopefully, you’ll notice a running theme: an interest in yesterday and a strong commitment to the realities of the present moment. Can we learn something from a broader historical context? Does knowledge equal power? Is it possible to be sued for defamation of character by a dead person? We hope to find out.

With any luck, it might even be funny.

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